megachurch commentary

12 06 2009

i love this commentary from king of the hill from the episode where the hills are trying to find a new church.

peggy: “maybe we should try the new megachuch.”

hank: “i don’t want to change churches.  besides, that place is too big.  what’s it got, 5000 some-odd members…”

peggy: “…and it pampers all of them!  they have their very own coffee shop, florist, mini-mart, bike and a dry cleaner that accepts all competitors coupons!”

hank: “if i wanted to go that route i could just walk around the mall and think about Jesus.”

wow.

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the return of the camera phone bandit

27 03 2009

alright folks, after being without one for the past 18 months, i know finally have a camera phone once again!  in other words… it’s on!

having a palm treo with a camera for years was something that brought me and many friends much joy as i was able to document some of the crazy randomness that i tend to encounter with surprising regularity.  in september ’07 i upgraded from a treo 750 to a blackberry 8830 world edition which came in extremely handy in all my international travel throughout the following year, but did not have a camera.  well, today i put an end to that when i switched to a shiny new blackberry curve, complete with  camera!

here is a small sample of some of my camera phone goodies from over the years…

beyoncedc

Front a center at a private event in DC where Beyonce gave a surprise performance

At an instore with Kirk in Atlanta (Oct 05), we "experienced" this crazy lady who claimed to have written all of his songs, and MaryMary's, and Kierra Sheard's... priceless!

At an instore with Kirk in Atlanta (Oct 05), we "experienced" this crazy lady who claimed to have written all of his songs, and MaryMary's, and Kierra Sheard's... priceless!

On the Hero Tour (Spring '06), I think we were in Mississippi... this McDonalds employee was getting drssed for work in the parking lot right by the front door.

On the Hero Tour (Spring '06), I think we were in Mississippi... this McDonalds employee was getting dressed for work in the parking lot right by the front door.

Not surprisingly, at the same McDonalds as mentioned above, saw this dude who was rocking TWO different plaids... and you know he thought he was killin it, right?

Not surprisingly, at the same McDonalds as mentioned above, saw this dude who was rocking TWO different plaids... and you know he thought he was killin it, right?

During a hurricane-produced gas shortage in Dallas in 2005, one local station had apparently run out of "regural". Classy.

During a hurricane-produced gas shortage in Dallas in 2005, one local station had apparently run out of "regural". Classy.

I know what they meant to say, but "remodelation"?

I know what they meant to say, but "remodelation"?

King's Palace in Joplin, Missouri... the only Chinese buffet I have seen with mashed potatoes and gravy, spaghetti and smoked sausage.

King's Palace in Joplin, Missouri... the only Chinese buffet I have seen with mashed potatoes and gravy, spaghetti and smoked sausage.

and my personal favorite... "special gift for special people"... a figurine of a small african-american child sitting on a toilet, pants down, putting on her shoes... for the person who has everything.

and my personal favorite... "special gift for special people"... a figurine of a small african-american child sitting on a toilet, pants down, putting on her shoes... for the person who has everything.

the camera phone bandit is back… this will be your only warning… i’m just saying…  🙂





lip syncing kid

12 03 2009

i love this video!





the mcnugget emergency

4 03 2009

by now, you’ve probably all heard about the crazy woman in florida who called 911 three times in a row because mcdonalds had run out of chicken mcnuggets and instead of refunding her money were offering her comparable-priced menu items that she did not want.  but, have you heard the 911 tape????

“my mcnuggets are an emergency!” lol!

check out the police report posted on thesmokinggun.com.   then check out this news piece from her local tv station.  ya’ll know me!  this kind of stuff makes my day!  🙂  enjoy.

this reminds me of the woman who called 911 a couple years ago because burger king kept getting her order wrong. that was classic!  “well, you’re supposed to be here to protect me”… “what are we protecting you from? a wrong cheeseburger? is it a harmful cheeseburger or something?”  hahahahahaha!  these people should form a task force. 🙂





no mo captain crunch

27 02 2009

there really are no words i can offer that would adequately sum up what i feel about this… so just take it all in.

you’re welcome.





public service announcement

23 12 2008

during this holiday season, when folks are hustling and bustling from store to store trying to find the perfect gifts and best bargains, i want to take this occasion to make this public service announcement…

for the record, there is no such thing as going to “wal-marts”, “targets”, “best buys”, etc. unless you are indeed going to more than one location of a particular establishment.  this also includes “krogers”, “sonics” or any other proper noun whose name does not already either end with an “s” or another letter making a “s” sound (see “publix”) .

establishments such as “wendys”, “papa johns” or “kohls” are, in fact, exempt from this rule by default due to the correct spelling and use of their name.

additionally, use of “wal-marts”, “targets”, “best buys”, etc. will only be acceptable when preceded by the corresponding number of locations of said establishment which you either did or intend to visit.  for example, “i’m going to wal-marts to get some kettle corn” would be incorrect, while “i went to 5 targets and they were all sold out of wii nunchucks” would be correct.

remember: friends don’t let friends be country.

thank you and amen.





word to your grandmother

16 11 2008

wow! i guess you’re never too old for hip-hop… word to your grandmother.